Silence melting in her mouth. Her teeth
chattering in slow motion, soundless horror of the
daily grind. Her tongue caressing a façade of saccharine joy
from the too-often bouts of laughter
that fizz out upon examination.
Her eyes, darting around the world in
eighty seconds, two pupils
of the eternal didactism that clutches her heart—
her heart, palpitating purple pulp,
gushing out the lifeblood of anguish
turned mockery turned romance.
Her hands, how they search for feeling
like two bloated tarantulas in the equinoctial abyss,
hop from here to there and abruptly they are falling,
hairy legs flailing, through a rather deep hole
in the center of her head.
The girl’s toes wiggled in the golden sand as she stared across the water towards where the sea melted into the horizon with no clear in-between. In-between was exactly how she felt, in between life and death, in between inner chaos and an equally unsettling peace. Here, on the beach, she could make herself soar back in time and visit the carefree days. Here, on the beach, she could imagine a small wooden sailboat bobbing on the ocean like a child’s toy— and inside the sailboat, a little girl and her father, who was patiently teaching her to work the ropes and make the boat move right and left, slicing the waves. Here, on the beach, she still heard her own tinkling childish laughter. Across eons‚ it seemed.
But the girl knew those days were over, long over. She was alone now, on the beach, and her father had set sail for other horizons…leaving her behind, helplessly behind. The waves kept lapping the shoreline and sending salty spray into the air like mist, and in her perplexed, troubled state, the girl interpreted their rhythmic, indifferent action as somewhat hostile. The ocean had never truly cared for her. If the ocean had cared for her‚ it surely wouldn’t have let her parents die…
As she stood there, a lone silhouette imprinted on the setting sun, her golden hair billowing around her, the girl felt as if the waves were slowly but surely washing away everything left inside of her. Even her name.